Friday, March 21, 2014

Moods

The impact your moods have on your life is underestimated. The truth is, your mood has a profound effect on the quality of your life. Moods effect your decisions and the mood you're in colors your entire world.
If you examine how your mood effects your relationships, you'll see that the mood you're in is the mood that the relationship is in. Whether you are happy, sad, indifferent, angry or warm and fuzzy makes all the difference in the world.
Of course it would be nice if you could just be in a great mood all the time. However, humans aren't built that way. Part of being a human on this planet is having fluctuating, ever changing emotions and there's nothing wrong with your good or bad moods.
If you sit quietly and just observe your emotions you will notice that they flow constantly. One moment you're content and peaceful, the next moment you might be angry; and then suddenly you feel like you want to laugh.
This goes on and on, all day everyday; that is, unless you're resisting them. A mood only sticks when you try to deny, escape, suffocate it or otherwise force it away. You know when you do this because it feels awful. Residence only intensifies the bad feelings.
If this is true, what does one do when in a terrible mood?

  • Acknowledge what you're truly feeling. Denial will only make things worse. Not only are you in a bad mood, you're invalidating your own feelings. Whatever it is that you're feeling, give it a label. Saying, "I am feeling           " acknowledges the feeling and this alone is enough to let it go. 
  • Know that "This too shall pass". When you're in a bad mood, it can seem like it's going to last forever. All life conditions as well as as emotions are transient. When you're in a very bad mood the difficulty becomes that you almost don't want to feel better. The key when you get like that is to acknowledge your mood and tell yourself that it will pass, even if you don't feel it at the time. 
  • Embrace it. "What you resist, persists and what you embrace you erase". It's human to escape pain and move toward pleasure. How do we make it so a bad mood is pleasurable, or at least good? You can use your bad mood as a signal that you need to give to yourself. You could even ask yourself what you would need to have to be happy and then find a way to give it to yourself. 
  • Allow feelings to be a guide. Emotions are your guidance system toward deeper joy. We have ears to hear, eyes to see, a nose to smell and these are guiding us to avoid painful sensations and move toward sensual pleasures. Emotions work in much the same way, only the are steering away from more painful feelings and toward more pleasurable ones. Ask what the feelings you are having want you to know. They have a message for you that at could be tremendously helpful. 
  • Breathe deeply and feel the emotions in your body. Sit still in a quiet place, breathe deeply and slowly, and feel what the mood feels like in your body. Simply notice it. If it feels right, assign it a color, a number between 1 - 10 (depending on how intense the feeling is), and a shape. This  acknowledges the feelings, and they won't have to get "loud" so that you pay attention; as they do when you ignore them. 
  • Ask to be in a better mood. This is something that I feel very few people do, but the results are miraculous. You can even ask to feel happy by a certain time. I give myself a few minutes to feel awful, but I'll say something like: "By 6:14 I'll feel great and I won't even remember why I was in a bad mood". Do this and you will be amazed at how well it works. 
  • Remember the ultimate intention of having a happy, close and loving relationship. Treating people poorly because you're in a negative state will take you further away from this goal. 
We all have moods. Eliminating them simply isn't possible. It's about not acting out of a bad mood. A negative state is not an empowering or resourceful state. You will not get where you want to be when you react from negative emotions.  Instead honor the bad moods, use them as a guide and then allow yourself to spiral back up to joy. 

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