Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Meditation and Visualizion As Tools To Improve Your Relationship

l hear a lot about meditation as a tool to reduce stress, but I almost never hear about it as a tool to help improve relationships. The same goes for visualization. There's a lot of talk about using visualization to become wealthy or to lose weight, and even how to attract a soul mate, but there isn't much out there about increasing love and good feelings in existing relationships.
It's unfortunate that the use of meditation and visualization as tools for transformation in relationships isn't more widespread because they are both so valuable in keeping a calm and peaceful center, lowering stress and improving mood.
Visualization has been used by  athletes and businessmen, with incredible results. It improves performance significantly, helps maintain focus and activates the very powerful subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind is millions of times more effective at getting you where you want to be than the conscious mind is. To discover how it does this, and the many ways b it can be "programmed" other than visualization,  a simple Google search will get you more information on the subject than you can handle.
Here are some tips for using meditation to increase good feelings in your relationships:

  • Set aside 5 minutes at the same time everyday.  It's suggested to meditate about 15 minutes, but starting with 5 minutes will get you in the habit and then you can increase the time as you go on. 
  • Remember that although the point of meditation is to quiet your mind, you will still have thoughts and your mind will wonder. Even seasoned masters experience this.  It can be frustrating, but it's easier if you simply notice the thoughts and let them float away rather than try to suppress them. When you notice that you are talking off, take the next step. 
  •  As much as you can, return to just noticing your breath or a mantra. A mantra is a word or short phrase that is repeated over and over again to help you remain focused while meditating. Some great mantas for relationship improvement are: "I am love", "Peace", "Love" or "I choose love and joy now and always".
  • Practice everyday. The stress reducing, calming, mood enhancing benefits of meditation are cumulative. 
  • Keep your meditation heart centered. You could begin by stating that it's your intention to increase the love, closeness and good feelings in your relationship. Then while you're meditating, imagine that you are being permeated by love and good feelings and really feel what that feels like in your body. With each breath imagine that you are breathing in more and more love until it radiates from you like the sun.  To end, bless your relationship with love, closeness and good feelings or ask for it to be blessed with these things from a higher power.  Actually state to yourself that you bless your relationship and send your partner love. 
Visualization tips:

  • Visualize in the morning before you get out of bed and in the evenings as you're falling asleep.  This is when you're conscious mind is the most relaxed and will allow you to "speak" most directly to your subconscious. 
  • Engage as many of your senses as possible.  What does the air around you feel like? Is there a specific smell? Do you hear anything? Smell your partner's scent and hear his/her voice. Make sure it feels wonderful and loving. 
  • Add as much detail as you can. What,  exactly does the scene around you look like? What is your mate wearing?  What are the two of you doing? What, exactly, does that look and feel like? Are you holding hands?  Does the he/she touch you? What does that feel like on your skin? 
  • Add emotion. The more intensely you feel positive emotions during your visualizations the more effective they will be. Create the scene around what will trigger the most intense positive emotions in you. 
  • Make it exactly what you truly want,  no matter what that is. If you want more passionate sex, more romance and affection, more help around the house, a deeper friendship or an exciting adventure, nothing is "right" or "wrong".
  • Don't be realistic. As a matter of fact, exaggerate greatly. If you want to go on a second honeymoon, don't just picture going some place warm worth your beloved and lounging on the beach, imagine the bluest waters, the whitest sand, having the best secx of your life on a deserted shore, drinking the finest wine and talking and laughing all night in each other's arms.  Add rainbows and dolphins and kind, helpful people. This is your world, make it unbearably beautiful.
  • Imagine the outcome. Skip all the details of how you got there, just imagine yourself in exactly where you desire to be, doing exactly what you want to do, with exactly who you want to be with. 
  • Keep it short.  I would say keep it under ten minutes for two reasons: doubt will creep in and you will start asking how if you go any longer and you will be unlikely to visualize daily if it takes to long. 
  • Make sure you visualize daily. Just like meditation, the effects are cumulative and irregular visualization will yield irregular results. 
The whole point of meditation and visualization is to feel good; if it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Follow what resonates with your heart always.

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