Monday, October 21, 2013

Love and Closeness Challenge #25: Treat Yourself the Way You would Have Your Mate Treat You

Some people naturally love themselves, respect themselves and treat themselves well. My mother is one of those people. She just really likes who she is and she treats herself very well. It makes it very easy to be with her because she's pleasant and doesn't expect anyone else to give to her or fulfill her needs. She's already happy with herself and her life and she enjoys people, but doesn't need anything from them. 
I'm much different than my mother. Loving myself and treating myself well was something that I had to learn. It took time and energy. The wonderful thing about having to learn it as opposed to being born with it is that I can share what I learn. Ask my mom how she loves herself and what she does to treat herself well and you will get a blank stare. She won't even understand the question, or she might just say, "I don't know, I just do". I, on the other hand, can give you specific instructions on how to treat yourself well. I've had to study it. This isn't to say that one way of arriving at a place where you love yourself and treat yourself the way that you would like a great partner to treat you is better than another. However, I wouldn't give my knowledge up for anything. I'm so thankful that I went through all that I've gone through to get to a point where I naturally treat myself well and can honestly say that I love myself. It's amazing how much better everything about life is when you treat yourself with love, kindness and respect. No matter where you go, what you're doing or who you're doing it with, you are with you. It's not possible to not be with you. Life is infinitely better when you are your own friend. 
How can you expect to be loved if you don't love yourself? How can you expect to be respected if you have no respect for yourself? How can you expect to be treated well if you don't treat yourself well? How can you expect to be given to if you don't feel worthy enough to receive?
When you don't love yourself, no matter what you have or what you're doing with your life, it won't matter, you won't be fulfilled. There will always be an emptiness inside, a feeling of lack that you just can't seem to supply with enough stuff to fill. If you truly love yourself, no matter what is going on around you, life is something to be grateful for. Your circumstances could be no where near where you'd like them to be and yet you will feel a sense of fulfillment and joy in being alive that nothing that you could achieve or obtain could ever give you. 
That's all great. Loving yourself is the most worthy of goals. However, you can treat yourself well starting right now. You don't have to wait until you feel inspired to treat yourself like you would like your partner to treat you. You don't even have to love yourself first. I am a big believer in faking it until you make it. I believe that when you just start acting as if whatever it is that you desire is already real, you call it into being. I'm not sure how this works, and if you like you can call it the law of attraction or whatever else you'd like to call it. I feel that it's your subconscious mind bringing you to whatever it is that you want. It doesn't matter what label anyone gives it, what matters is that it works. 
So, starting right now, fake it until you make it by acting as if you love yourself. I'm going to ask you to do this by pretending that you are your own ideal mate. Ask yourself the following questions:
1. What would you give yourself right now if you were your ideal mate? 
Would you buy yourself a card with a handwritten note about how amazing you are? Would you give yourself a night off? Would you give yourself flowers?
2. What would you do for yourself right now if you were your ideal mate?
Would you clean up the house? (Although that seems like work that would take away from yourself, if it makes you feel better than it is a gift to you from you) Would you pour a bath and light some candles and allow yourself time to just soak?
3. How would you talk to yourself right now if you were your ideal mate?
Would to tell yourself that you look amazing in your new dress? Would you tell yourself what a great job you did in dealing with the most annoying coworker that ever live? Would you tell yourself that you're a great mom?
4. How would you treat yourself right now if you were your ideal mate? Would you eat healthier foods? Would you sleep a full eight hours? Would you wear more comfortable clothes?
5. What would you do with yourself right now if you were your ideal mate? Would you lay in bed and watch a movie? Would you take yourself out to breakfast? Would you sit and have a long heart to heart with yourself?

Your challenge today is to figure out what you'd like your partner to do with/for you. Once you have this figured out, don't waste any more time trying to get these things from someone else. Instead, do these things for and with yourself. Be your own best partner. You can still have a partner, and actually this can go a long way in bringing you closer because instead of expecting to get from him, you will be sharing who you are with him and enjoying his company. 

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