Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Inner Experience of True Love

True love is a choice, not a feeling. It is a choice to extend love by seeing the other person's soul and accepting them as they are in the moment. Love is about wanting the best for the other and feeling good about them. When you love, the other's happiness is your happiness and their sorrow yours as well. True love asks for absolutely nothing, but instead appreciates the other and finds joy in giving love to that person. 
True love is an inner experience, not dependent on any outside conditions or circumstances. When you love unconditionally, you choose to be loving and accepting them as they are, no matter what. Unconditional love means loving that person regardless of whether they are loving you, whether or not they are there. 
Unconditional love can also be called loving kindness, as it should not be associated with the media's idea of love which is often dramatic romance that is not really love. Loving kindness only knows how to give. It only knows well being and only feels good. Get more of this by giving it. Giving love doesn't have to be tangible, it can be a smile, a touch, a kind thought, an encouraging word or even silent listening while the other is sleeping. 
When you love truly you will discover that what love truly is is wanting the other to feel good and be well always as much as you want this for yourself. True love accepts the other and is grateful for them as they are. True love expects nothing at all in return for the kindness it extends and is rewarded by the act of kindness itself. Kind is not the same as nice. Nice is doing something so that the other will like you. True love doesn't have this kind of barter. It flows giving continuously like a waterfall. It seeks closeness, intimacy, good feelings, well being, acceptance and forgiveness all the time. To give love you must know that you choose to give love not just when you feel like it, but at all times. It is a conscious decision that you make moment by moment to think well of the other, accept them, appreciate them, forgive them, be present with them and assist them in feeling their best. This is easy: treat them as if they are you in a different body. Only don't assume they want the same things that you want, assume that this different bodied you has it's own unique preferences, desires and fears. Ask yourself: “How can I best extend love to this particular person (you can substitute with a name) right now?” “What can I do to assist this person (substitute name) to be well and feel good right now?”
See their soul and know that whatever is not love, is fear. If they are acting out in ways that seem detrimental, know that they are afraid and let your heart go out to them. Empathize, you know what it is to be afraid.
True love is a choice, not a feeling. It is a choice to extend love by seeing the other person's soul and accepting them as they are in the moment. Love is about wanting the best for the other and feeling good about them. When you love, the other's happiness is your happiness and their sorrow yours as well. True love asks for absolutely nothing, but instead appreciates the other and finds joy in giving love to that person. Giving love doesn't have to be tangible, it can be a smile, a touch, a kind thought, an encouraging word or even silent listening while the other is sleeping. What love is truly is wanting the other to feel good and be well always as much as you want this for yourself. True love accepts the other and is grateful for them as they are. True love expects nothing at all in return for the kindness it extends and is rewarded by the act of kindness itself. Kind is not the same as nice. Nice is doing something so that the other will like you. True love doesn't have this kind of barter. It flows giving continuously like a waterfall. It seeks closeness, intimacy, good feelings, well being, acceptance and forgiveness all the time. To give love you must know that you choose to give love not just when you feel like it, but at all times. It is a conscious decision that you make moment by moment to think well of the other, accept them, appreciate them, forgive them, be present with them and assist them in feeling their best. This is easy: treat them as if they are you in a different body. Only don't assume they want the same things that you want, assume that this different bodied you has it's own unique preferences, desires and fears. Ask yourself: “How can I best extend love to this particular person (you can substitute with a name) in this particular moment?” “What can I do to assist this person (substitute name) to be well and feel good right now?”
See their soul and know that whatever is not love, is fear. If they are acting out in ways that seem detrimental, know that they are afraid and let your heart go out to them. Empathize, you know what it is to be afraid.
From this day forward make a vow to yourself to focus only on being loving. Instead of blaming the other for your bad feelings or expecting them to make you feel good, stand in your power to love and love them every way that you can the very best that you can. Let them be a smile in your heart even when they are at their very worst. If instead of looking outside of yourself for people and things to fill you up and give you good feelings you only rely on yourself to do this, this unconditional love of others will happen naturally.

"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."

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