Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Pain In the Ass People


When we have a difficult time in life, it almost always involves others. It seems like it would be so much easier to be alone. There would be no one to annoy you, piss you off, ruin your plans, slow you down, hurt your feelings or completely drain you emotionally. Everyone has experienced emotions that tear them apart inside because of other humans. If you haven't, if there is anyone who means anything to you, then you will.
When I am overwhelmed by others I get lost in the fantasy of wishing everyone would just go away. Ever feel like that? But - then I think: what would it really be like to be completely alone? Imagine if there was no one else in the world.  See it: everyone in your life has disappeared, the people you wish would disappear as well as the people who mean the world to you. Everyone is gone.
No more noisy, super active neighbors in a curious, exploring little people neighborhood. No more critical family members trying to tell me what to do to get my life in order. No more 50 phone calls a day to see how I'm doing. No more tiny, messy fingers and face to wash. No more force brushing five teeth or dentist bills. No more high-pitched, valley girl twang talking tween girl complaining about brushing her hair before school. No more putting up with crazy mood swings and just because I'm awake crying. No more teenage boy refusing to do homework. No more arguing over spending too much time playing games with virtual friends. No more budding astronomer, don't put up with shit from anyone lady telling me that she knows I could be better. No more challenges to grow. No more having to work through my own stuff with a man who always knows when I'm hiding even the tiniest, most subtle thought or feeling. No more revealing myself when he calls me out on it. No more poking or prodding when I don't get things done that I said I would. They are all gone and I don't have to deal with any of this crap.
In the blink of an eye everyone could be gone. This could be the last day I have the opportunity to tell them that they mean everything to me. My last day to tell them that my life would not be much of a life without them and that I love each of them as they are more than I can express. This could be the last chance I have to tell them how extremely thankful that they are in my life, no matter what. 

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