Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Love and Closeness Challenge #8: Loving Yourself Deeply and Truly

Self love is one of those things that people hear all the time, but perhaps don't know what it really is. The biggest misconception is that it has something to do with being selfish. To clarify, selfishness is concern only for your own well being and doing whatever you believe you need to do to "get yours" regardless of how it effects others. The attitude of selfishness is one based on lack. A selfish person thinks, "There isn't enough stuff so I have to take mine. Who cares about anyone else?"
Self love is striving for your own well being and your own happiness, but without the lack mentality. When a person loves themselves, they love their life and others as well. They are happy and take action to bring more well being and happiness into their own life. They know how to say no to what they don't want, but they cooperate with others well. They are capable of interdependence more so than people who don't love themselves because they are easier to get along with. While they certainly aren't doormats, they have a love for people and want them to be happy. It's just that people who love themselves don't sacrifice their own well being to make others happy. They are the center of their own universe, not to the detriment of others, but for their benefit.
Do you love yourself? Do you want what will help you to be well and happy? Do you actively pursue these things? Do you have boundaries that keep you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually healthy? Are you the center of your own universe for the benefit of yourself and others?
What does this mean to be the center of your own universe for the benefit of yourself and others? It means that no one's happiness comes before your own. The biggest argument I hear when I say this is about children. When you have children, it's your job to take care of their needs and make sure that they are happy and well. However, if you are emptying all of your love energy onto them and you are forgetting about yourself, you will get burned out and potentially resentful. Even if your children are young, ask for help, take a small break whenever you can and get your love tank full again.
The love tank I refer to is the feeling of love that we have inside. It's my belief that we can't get love from another to fill ourselves up. We must fill ourselves up. If you are looking for someone to fill you up, you may feel better for a short time, but you will soon feel empty again. Instead, how can you fill yourself up? When you are filling yourself up, you are loving yourself and you can be loving. People who love themselves deeply are the best partners. They can be authentically themselves and happy and loving. This makes them a real joy to be around.
Every single human on the planet could love themselves more. We could all be kinder, more compassionate, more respectful and more friendly toward ourselves. We could all do more to be happy and well in every area of our lives.We could all certainly talk to ourselves in a more praising, encouraging and complimentary way. Loving ourselves is something we can never do too much of.

Here are some awesome resources to get you started:
Great video. It says it's about twin flames, but I found it to be an amazing talk about love of self. Awesome site. Adorable, fun to read and informative.
Very good article with excellent ideas to help you love yourself day by day.
Great site, take the 31 day self love challenge.
Amazon's list of 14 self esteem books that will change your life.
A seven step prescription to self love.
Awesome article on self love exercises.
Learn how to make a self love art journal.
Self Love Affirmations

Your challenge today is something that I hope that you will continue everyday for the rest of your life. It's the most important challenge of all. To make it really simple: treat yourself like someone you love more than anyone else in the world; every single day, no matter what. Use the resources above to help get you started. 

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