Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Love and Closeness Challenge #10: Admiration

There aren't many better feelings that the wonderful feeling of being admired. This is true for all humans, but it is especially true for the male of our species. Since it's our mission if we want a loving relationship, to make the one we are in a relationship with feel good, admiration is a must.
I'm not talking about flattery, seeing anyone with rose colored glasses, worship or anything like that.
As a matter of fact, if admiration is insincere, it comes across as ass kissing and is off putting. This is not what you want. What you want is for the other to feel like someone that is capable, strong, skilled, successful or in possession of desirable qualities.
Let's discover what it is that you genuinely admire about him, no matter how small, so that you can point it out to him and/or others. We all love people who make us feel good about ourselves and our helping him to feel good about himself is a valuable gift we can give to him that won't cost us a penny.
Just as a note: if you have children, this is something great to do for them as well. Building up a child's positive self-image is one of the greatest things a parent can do.

Your challenge today is to admire him. Not to make him feel admired, as that may put the focus on insincere flattery. Instead, answer the following questions in detail:
* What do I truly feel that he is best at?
* What does he know more about than most people?
* What is his greatest success up to this point?
* What quality do I like best about him?
* What quality do other people like best about him?
* What's his greatest strength?
When you are done with this list, go over it and notice which one inspires you the most to share it with him. Your assignment is to do just that, share it with him. Even if it was something that he did a long time ago, tell him you've been thinking about it and wanted to tell him. Whatever it is, let him know in a short, simple sentence or two how much you admire him for it.
For example, if your mate is best at golfing, tell him you were just thinking about the time that he got a hole in one and that you'll never forget the look on his boss's face. If his greatest success until now has been buying the house that you live in, tell him you're happy he had the will power to save up the money because you love this house. The goal is to make him feel good about himself. 

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