Thursday, July 18, 2013

Love is Always Giving

In relationship, the natural thing to do is to wait for a warm, fuzzy feeling of love and affection before they extend love. However, this feeling is not prerequisite for you to give love. Love is always giving, no matter what you are feeling. It always speaks and acts in ways that bring good feelings and well being to the beloved.
This is easier said than done. Our natural tendency to desire another to give love to us and to make us feel good is such an engrained habit that it can be difficult to override. How can you put this into practice easily? Through awareness and intention. Nothing needs to be done really. If you try to make something happen, this won't last. Anything you do with conscious effort you will resist. You can't will yourself to continue to do anything. You may be able to get yourself to do it a few times, but it won't last and oftentimes this kind of effort leads to resentment. Instead, just having the intention to give love to the other always, no matter what and to speak in act in ways that increase their well being and makes them feel good will work miracles. Then, simply live moment to moment with a gentle awareness and notice the way that you behave without judging yourself or the other in any way. If you can be present and just allow yourself to be loving, even when you are not being loving, you give yourself room to change.
To ask yourself, "What is the most loving thing I can do for this particular person in this particular moment? Or "How can I help this person to be well and feel good?" without feeling like you need to act is enough to act in loving ways and help the other person feel good and be well. Any effort that you put into it against what you truly want to do will back fire. If you force yourself to give something to another, that isn't loving because the true loving feelings aren't there. This will cause resentment. Just saying to yourself "I intend in every moment to be loving and to give love to others in ways that make them feel great and increase their well being", you will naturally do these things. Intention is extremely powerful.
To add even more power to this, ask for help from a power greater than yourself. I surrender to my "great, all knowing, all powerful, loving subconscious mind" because it is what feels right for me. Surrender it to God, or the universe or whatever works for you. Say something to yourself like, "Please assist me in being loving and giving love in every moment so that I may help others to feel their best and be well." 
Love isn't really one size fits all; what might be a loving act toward one person could feel terrible to another person.  A lot of times we feel that the way that we like to be given love to is the way that others like love to be given to them, but this simply isn't true. What feels good to you might feel awful for another person. The kind of love to give to help another feel good and be well is a new decision to make in every moment. There is no rule you can apply to everyone all the time.
Don't let this deter you though, it's actually not difficult. You are an infinitely wise being and you know the answer to all questions. Trust yourself, you'll know what to do. All that you have to do is have the intention of being loving and giving love in a way that feels good for the other. Do this and then just be aware of how you are behaving with complete acceptance of yourself, the other and of what is.
Ways to put this into practice:
* State your intention to be loving and give love a few times a day.
* Affirm to yourself that you are loving and that you make others feel great.
* Ask for assistance from whatever higher power you believe in.
* Notice your behavior in the present moment without judgment of any kind. Just observe.
* When you notice that you are being loving and it feels good, let yourself feel good about it. Tell yourself you've done well.
* Trust yourself to give love and be loving in ways that make the other feel good. You'll know by what feels right.

“Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do, but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.” Khalil Gibran

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